Goodbye Secrets Read online

  GOODBYE SECRETS

  JACQUELYN AYRES

  Copyright © 2014 Jacquelyn Ayres

  Cover Design: Wicked by Design

  Stock Photo: Deposit Photos

  Editor: Jess Huckins

  Formatting: Self Publishing Editing Service

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by an information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the Author/Publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  To all of the readers who fell in love with my characters, thank you so much for boarding this crazy train and wanting to stay on.

  Your love, support, and excitement fills my heart to capacity.

  It’s been yet another boring day in the James household! I feel so nervous heading back to New Hampshire. I miss Claudia and Rocco. I miss my business. I wish I could see Hazel—obviously, I miss her most and I haven’t talked to her in so long. God, she’s the only mom I have. Though Susanna has been very nurturing. She and Grayson had a long heart-to-heart before we left. They made up and he’s been transformed into gentle and patient Grayson. This is just who I need holding my hand as I wait to be by my best friend’s side.

  “When do you get your new plane, Gray?” I try to break him out of his deep thought. We are waiting for clearance to take off, and it feels like it’s been forever. But that may be because I’m anxious to get to Stacey.

  “Next month. Sorry, love, I’m not all here.”

  “Me neither.” I close my eyes and allow the flashbacks of our twenty-plus years of friendship.

  Stacey and I were polar opposites, yet kindred spirits. We raised ourselves in every sense but on paper, and each brought our own special kind of crazy to the table. We were the dynamic duo going through life back to back, fighting one battle at a time. We thought we were awesome. Hell, we were awesome!

  She was always the flirtatious one, never without a boyfriend and a backup just in case. I was always the smart-mouthed one, because I wasn’t comfortable in my skin enough to flirt and, well, why bother? I was waiting for Joe McIntyre. Ugh! Mental head slap! When I did date, I kept my boyfriends at arm’s length and they never lasted longer than a month with me. Of course, this somehow created in them some sort of obsession with me. That whole “wanting what you can’t have” sort of thing, I guess. It took the guy I lost my virginity to eight years of playing cat and mouse before he finally got into my pants. Eight years!

  Grayson suddenly bursts into a fit of laugher, pulling me out of my memories.

  “What?” I ask him.

  “Nothing, sweetheart.” He bites his lower lip to stop. “I was just thinking about an article I read earlier. It wouldn’t be funny to you.” He shakes his head, indicating I should dismiss any idea of further inquiry. I shrug indifferently and go back to my thoughts.

  Humph ... it only took Grayson three days, I think. Or was it two? I’ll go with three; it makes me feel less whorish. It was, however, the longest three days ever!

  George was obsessed. And Ray, Will ... Grayson. I think I’ve formed a solid pattern here. Only trouble is, I really don’t know how or why. What is it about me?

  “Sweetheart? What the hell are you thinking about?” Grayson stretches his neck to peer where I am staring. “What are you looking at?”

  “I’m pondering.” I lay my head back and close my eyes again.

  “What are you pondering?” I sense him shifting in his seat.

  “Well, I’ve been sitting here thinking about Stacey and me through the years, how flirty she always was. She was never without a boyfriend. While mostly, by my choice, I was. However, I was never without someone obsessed with me. It’s the first time I’m realizing the quite solid pattern. I have no clue why ... it’s a bit annoying.” I hear Grayson laughing again, but mostly to himself. I open my eyes and catch him shaking his head. “What’s so funny now?”

  “I just realized I’ve joined the ranks of those other poor bastards! I’ve never been obsessed with any woman in my life ... well, besides my mother,” he adds thoughtfully. I cringe.

  “Eww ... is it a weird mom thing?”

  “Oh God, Becca, no! That’s absurd; I’ve never had an indecent thought about my mother! You, on the other hand, sweetheart—my thoughts are very naughty when it comes to you.” He flashes me a wicked grin.

  “Yeah, I don’t get it ... really.” I try to shake off the thought because, well, why bother?

  “And therein lies part of the allure that is Becca Campbell,” he murmurs, mostly to himself.

  My thoughts refocus on Stacey. All of the stupid shit we did as kids. Our first apartment together. Our first grown-up jobs. Our trips. Our talks. Grayson just sits back, watching me laugh, then cry, then laugh again. I share with him some of the silly shit we did.

  “Becca, that’s absurd! Why would you pull up to a complete stranger’s house and honk the horn as if you were picking someone up?” I’m pretty sure he’s laughing at me because I’m in stitches with tears rolling down my face. Almost twenty years later and that prank still cracks me up.

  “As Kellie Pickler says, ‘I’m just a small town girl’! You either do silly stupid shit or you do real stupid, stupid shit. Silly was more fun.” I shrug. My throat tightens up and my nose flares. “Grayson, I can’t lose my best friend. Who would I do silly, stupid shit with? She’s my sister. She’s the only person on this planet who knows everything about me. I can tell her anything. I can’t do this, Gray!” I give in and allow my emotions and tears to storm over me. “What the hell is taking so fucking long?!” I yell as I unbuckle and head toward the cockpit. I bang on the door. It opens. “Smitty! We were supposed to be up in the air half an hour ago!”

  “I’m sorry, ma’am. We were waiting for a new flight plan because of bad weather. We’re all set and are about to be cleared for takeoff in a few minutes.” He looks from me to Grayson, as if the Brit would be able to divert my fury.

  “Very good then. Sorry. I just need to get to my friend.” I try to calm down, aware that Smitty has no control over the weather. However, he could’ve let us know what was going on.

  Within ten minutes, we are heading down the runway. I close my eyes and I’m seven again, taking off in a less luxurious airplane. The same exhilarating feeling comes over me. Oh, how I love to fly! Smitty’s voice comes over the intercom, letting us know that we will be stopping in Louisiana for fuel and our six-hour flight will now take eight. I struggle to not lash out from this information—I just want to get there!

  “I could think of something to get your mind off of things, but you’ll probably throw me off the plane fo
r mentioning it,” Grayson whispers in my ear. I know he’s trying to get a smile out of me.

  “I just want to get there.” I push away my tears and pull out the book I write all my lists in.

  “What are you doing, sweetheart?” He leans over and holds the book down.

  “My Christmas gift list.” I continue writing down the names of all the staff.

  “Don’t worry about them, love. I’ll give them bonus checks.” He waves over my book.

  “Oh my God, Gray! Charlie! I have to give him his check!” I feel my heart go up into my throat.

  “Already taken care of, sweetheart.” He pats my leg and grabs the book, which is precisely why I wrote his name and “Nosy Bastard” next to it. Apparently he finds it, because he starts laughing.

  “How did you take care of it?” I refocus.

  “I took last year’s and increased by ten percent like you always do. Stop worrying.” He kisses my head.

  “I’m not looking to start an argument, Grayson, but that is my business and while I appreciate all of the things you’ve done and are doing, I don’t appreciate you taking its control away from me! It doesn’t even feel like it’s mine anymore!” Well, that didn’t end as calmly as it started. Okay, here we go, I’m waiting for it. There are two things that Grayson and I do extremely well together: arguing and uh ... um ... an edited flashback reel of Gray’s and my sexcapades plays in my mind to the tune of “E.T.” by Katy Perry.

  “Sweetheart? Becca?” He gently takes my chin. I refocus. “E.T.” is blasting in my head. Grayson bites his bottom lip and his eyebrows pop up. He must know what I’m thinking about. He knows my body language better than I do. I grab my phone and pull my face free to find the song, then unbuckle and head toward the bathroom. I look back before I enter to make sure he’s following me. “Right here, doll.” He leans down and kisses my ear. He wraps his left arm around my waist, resting his hand on my stomach, and pushes the door open with his right. I wonder what the staff is saying about us, or thinks of us. It’s a quick thought though, and I dismiss it, not really giving the shit one ought to give.

  Grayson locks the door behind us. I put my phone in the dock on the sink at the other end of the bathroom. I’m not one for knowing my measurements ... ahem ... but I’d say the bathroom is about seven by nine. The walls are steel blue with bronze accents—very masculine, very Grayson.

  I strip down to my panties and bra. He pulls off his shirt and leans up against the door, taking me in. He’s beautifully ripped. He’s been working more on his shoulders. And—oh—that gorgeous long neck. Mmm ... I have a strong desire to run my tongue up it. I bite my lip and let my eyes scan his six-pack. His jeans hang loose around his waist, and the band of his boxer briefs hugs the final chapter of his torso. And I know there’s a whole notha beautiful story waiting to be explored below that band. I press play and begin my seductive prowl toward him.

  His eyelids go mad. I keep my eyes on his as I reach him, then search his chest softly with my hands. My tongue tastes every inch my hands uncover. His breath becomes erratic, and I push back the satisfied smile that wants to cross my face. I’ll smile about it later. My tongue outlines every part of his six-pack as I slowly unbuckle his belt, and I tease his navel with it while I undo his button and his zipper. I’m thoroughly enjoying every moment of this. His sounds, his breathing ... the twitching of every muscle I touch. God, this is making me so hot. I guide his jeans and underwear to the floor and help him out of them. His enthusiasm is staring me in the face. I nip and slide my tongue up the V-line of his right side, then repeat the pattern on his left. Grayson groans like he’s suffering from a slight torture. He takes in a deep breath and plants his hands on top of his head. It must be terribly difficult for him to relinquish this much control over to me—I’m impressed. I slide my panties off before I continue my teasing. I feel his eyes on me. I lick the tip of his penis and blow on it before I cup his balls gently and pull them back and away from his shaft. Another groan releases from his throat. I continue to do this as I wrap my left hand around his length, playfully biting and licking it from base to tip. I take him in my mouth fully and suck purposefully as I pull back, then tease him with biting and licking. Back up to the tip and deep into my mouth again.

  “Oh God, Becca ... please, sweetheart.”

  I can hear the sweet torture in his plea. As I slowly pull back again, I slip my finger quickly in and out of myself. I slide up his body, his breath hot in my face.

  “Open your mouth.” I grasp his chin as his hands find and caress my bum. He does so, and I slide my finger in. “See what you do to me, baby? Can you taste it?” I ask seductively. His eyes widen with shock before softening into a smile as he sucks my finger eagerly. I lean in near his ear. “I’m so ready for you to fuck the hell out of me, baby.” I lick the shell of it. With that, he pulls my hair to bring my face to his. There’s a slight hesitation as his eyes scan mine, then my lips, before he attacks them. He lifts me off the floor, slams me up against the wall, and enters me with such fierce urgency it knocks the wind out of me. My efforts to match his thrusts are fruitless. I just hold on for the ride as he fucks me into next week, or another atmosphere—I haven’t figured it out quite yet. What I am sure of is that I won’t be riding Rocco anytime soon.

  Grayson sucks in his breath and grits his teeth, slowing his pace as he unravels inside of me. I tighten around him and muffle his sounds with my mouth. He exhales harshly and gasps for more air. I kiss his forehead and push his sweaty hair to the side, then move my lips to the beauty mark under his left eye. His eyes are still closed as he tries to catch his breath.

  “Becca ... sweet ... heart ... I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” I play with the stubble along his jawline.

  “I didn’t wait for you to come.” He opens his eyes and stares into mine. It sounds like he finally has his breath under control.

  “Oh, baby, I got off—believe me.” I allow that satisfied smile I stifled before to grace my face. Slowly, he lets me slide down his body. We pull away from the wall, our lips greeting each other fondly. I let him deepen the kiss and am enjoying the feeling of our tongues exploring and playing together nicely when—bam! I feel fire in my right bum cheek from the sting of his palm. I release a surprised sob and kiss him with more passion. How can something hurt so bad and feel so good at the same time? Just then the seatbelt sign comes on and I hear Smitty over the intercom, telling everyone to sit down and buckle in. We’re getting ready to hit a lot of turbulence.

  “Should we tell him that was us?” I bite back my smile. Grayson is staring at me with such great desire, and I know what he’s thinking about. I know from the way he just slapped my bottom.

  “Grayson, c’mon, baby. Let’s get dressed.” I quickly kiss him. He refocuses and pulls on his underwear along with his jeans. His hair is still damp with sweat. This reminds me to check my own hair. I know they all know what we were doing in here, but I certainly don’t have to walk out there showing evidence of it! I pull my hair up in a tie. I notice Grayson staring at me from the mirror.

  “Theme song?” I ask, trying to pull him back from wherever he is.

  “Huh? Oh, no, sorry. So what happened to me not getting any for a while?” He gives me that gorgeous smile as he holds my hips from behind. There he is ... my beautiful British bastard.

  “Guess you were right, my BBB—I can’t last twelve hours without you inside me.” I match his grin, partly because I know I just sent him back to that “mad” place where he is trying to figure out what “BBB” stands for. He almost got it one day. I was feeling disappointed at the prospect, but alas, the last word was wrong again!

  “Ugh, Becca!”

  I start laughing. He hugs me from behind and we stare at ourselves in the mirror. Grayson pulls out his phone and takes a picture of us. I look up at him. God, I’m so in love with him. I don’t ever want to be without him. I was so scared today. Now I feel like I should be the one walking on eggshells.


  “Becca?” He looks down at me, his face full of concern.

  “Mr. and Mrs. James, please return to your seats,” Smitty says with urgency. I’ve gotten very used to being referred to as “Mrs. James.” I don’t bother correcting anyone anymore; what’s the point? Grayson wants to make sure everyone knows I’m his, and pretty soon, he’ll have the paperwork to back up the claim. Uh, yeah, I suddenly feel like a piece of property. I’ll let it go, though—I know that’s not his intention.

  “C’mon, Gray.” I tap the side of his face with my hand. Just as he opens the door, we hit a good pocket of turbulence and I lose my balance. Gray grabs me, preventing my fall, and we get to our seats quickly. For the next half an hour, I hold Grayson’s hand—not because I’m scared, but because his color has drained at least three times. It’s awfully cute how mad he gets at himself for acting this way. I just play dumb, pretending I have no idea the turbulence is affecting him. I close my eyes and try to rest as much as I can. Maybe I’ll fall asleep—that would make this go so much quicker.

  GRAYSON

  Becca’s fallen asleep. I get up and get her a blanket. “C’mere, love.” I gently pull her onto my lap.

  “Huh?” She looks up at me.

  “Lay your head on my shoulder, sweetheart. You were going to get a stiff neck.” I kiss her forehead and cover us with the blanket.

  “Something might get stiff on you now.” She smiles sheepishly.

  “That’s okay.” I hold her to me and lay my head on hers. Wish my new plane was ready. We’ll have a bedroom on that one.

  Derek hits the cabin lights for us, making it nice and dark. Good thing Becca’s wearing jeans, or I’d be doing something very naughty to her right now. God, that was so bloody fucking hot before! I don’t even know where the hell that came from! One minute she was yelling at me for taking over her business, and the next I could see she was thinking about sex! She can’t even hide it: her eyes flicker back and forth as if she’s watching what’s playing out in her mind, then she bites her lip and her breathing becomes erratic. She’s been doing that since the moment we first met. I don’t think she realizes she does it, because she’s always shocked that I know what she’s thinking.